I don't need a boyfriend... I have the Bruins

My relationship with the Bruins started like any other. We were introduced by a mutual friend, and it was love at first sight when I saw how talented, confident, and generally charming the team was (oh and the side of "badass" didn't hurt either). It was from this first meeting that our relationship really began to develop.

Like all good relationships, we're dedicated to each other. I rarely miss a game and even when they lose, they rarely let me down. Sure, sometimes I'll be too busy to watch but it evens out when they have a night of sloppy skating. They make me laugh and they make me cry; they keep me on the edge of my seat and always know just when to surprise me. The emotional roller coaster ride I go through during the hockey season is similar to the one every single boyfriend has ever taken me on.

Our relationship has variety. They keep it spicy and interesting, never using the same tricks too many times. Sometimes it's a good sixty minutes of foreplay with no real action until overtime, sometimes they even keep me waiting in a shootout. But other nights they're down and dirty and score in minutes.

They fight to keep my affection. The second the other team does anything impressive, I can count on Milan Lucic, Shawn Thornton, and Zdeno Chara to throw some punches. You don't mess with the Bruins, they can out-fight anyone in the NHL.

There's a skanky girl on the side that you have to hate. Her name, in this case, is Katherine Tappen. They've been friends for years, she knows everything about them, but they keep her on the sidelines. I still get jealous of their quality time together, though.

Oh and did I mention they're good looking?

Of course, I have a boyfriend; and keeping up two relationships is hard, let me tell you! But it's okay, he's got this thing on the side with the New York Rangers. It keeps things interesting.

1 comment:

Steve G. said...

How dare you attack Kathryn Tappen!